“I Felt Invisible Due To My Disability But You Made Me Feel Seen.”
What is your name and age?
My name is Mel Harvey. I turned 39 the week after my shoot.
When did you come in for your Boudoir Shoot? What made you decide to book?
I came in on Friday 23rd June 2023, so only last month!
I had always joked to my husband that I would do a shoot for his 40th birthday but in the back of my head I thought “yes, but fat girls like me can’t do that kind of thing”. Well this year is my husband’s 40th year and also our 10th wedding anniversary so one day, feeling particularly stupid brave, I booked a call to get the ball rolling.
Obviously, we have quite in depth phone calls with you before your experience! Do you feel that it was an important part of the photography experience? Do you feel it added to the experience?
I would never have walked through those doors into the studio if it hadn’t been for the calls beforehand. Kate was absolutely fantastic, it was like talking to your best friend about something you want to do but don’t have the confidence for. She encouraged me and held my hand to made sure I could achieve what I actually wanted!
I could also message one of the team on Facebook through the VIP Group with all those silly niggly questions that you worry about when your brain hits anxiety over-drive. For example… “Oh my goodness Kate, I can’t do this, I have found nothing to wear, my body is the wrong shape…” or “Shannon help, do I wash my hair again the night before or will the curls fall out?!”. Honestly our chat reads like a WhatsApp between best friends and I had never met these people in person!
You talked about how illness had made you feel invisible and impacted your confidence, do you mind telling us more about that? I just know so many women will resonate.
I have had M.E for over 15 years. I have gained a lot of weight because I’m not as mobile as I was. I now have to use a walking stick, and I suffer from extreme fatigue. I also have depression and severe anxiety.
When you have a condition like this, that becomes all that you are sometimes. I can’t work so I have no career to be defined by anymore, and friends drift away when you have an illness that is almost invisible on the outside. So it becomes “Hi I’m Mel, I’ve got M.E.”
There are so many places and experiences that I have refused to go to because I thought “people like me don’t / can’t do things like that.” From friends weddings, posh London work functions with my husband to spa days and restaurants. All this makes you feel invisible; people forget about you because more often than not, you aren’t there.
Plus, I am the one always taking all the photos so if I do go somewhere, I’m not in them. I don’t even have a picture of myself on my social media profile, I have a picture of my boys. I love them to the ends of this earth but I am more than just ‘Charlie & Logans Mum’ and I am more than just M.E.
So although the photos from my shoot are for my husband’s birthday, in reality the whole thing was for me! It was self care, some ‘ME’ time. It was a chance to feel like a sexy woman rather than a mother, or a disabled person.
And I may even use one of my shoot pictures as my profile picture!!
Having a professional makeup artist work with you on the day, do you think this added to the experience, and what did it do for your confidence coming into the shoot ??
Shannon is fantastic! She is kind, down to earth and very talented! We had a brief call before my day but I had no idea what I wanted make-up wise...”maybe some curls in my hair?”. When I got there on the day of my shoot, somehow she knew what I wanted, even though I didn’t really know what that was myself. I’m sure this is in part down to the discovery calls!
Having hair and make-up taken care of by a professional made me feel so much more confident walking into the studio. I knew I had the right amount of makeup for the studio lights, and Shannon made me feel beautiful! She also kept my nerves at bay as I knew the minute she was done I was going to have to walk into the studio!
A lot of women feel self conscious about having a boudoir experience - knowing what you know now, what would you say to any woman feeling a little self conscious about herself and treating herself to this experience?
I’d be amazed if you could feel any worse about yourself than I did. I had absolutely zero self esteem, if I’m honest I hated myself. During a discovery call, Kate asked me what the nicest thing I say to myself is and I think I said “when I look in the mirror, this is as good as it's going to get”.
Divine Divas are body positive, they truly believe that EVERYONE is beautiful no matter what size, age, disability etc. I don’t think I would have gone through with this experience with any other company because I was so nervous, self conscious, and full of self hatred. But I did it, not only that, I went topless! And I look hot!
Every woman should have the chance to feel like Divine Divas make you feel! Trust them to help you see the real you!
What was it like actually being photographed? How did you find the photoshoot itself?
Jesse was my photographer. His skill with a camera is a given (he’s very talented) but I think his true gift lies in his ability to make you feel comfortable and at ease in the studio. I had spoken to Jesse on the phone prior to arriving and then again when I got to the studio. He was extremely mindful of my M.E but also, he didn’t hold back because of it. The thought of changing into lingerie and then presenting myself to a man to be photographed scared the life out of me, but Jesse’s kindness and professionalism meant that after two minutes, it didn’t really matter what I was wearing anymore. The studio was quite warmly lit in general so I didn’t feel like I was walking out of the changing room into a clinical white light exposing all my flaws to the world! Jesse was brilliant at directing me and even gets down on the floor to demonstrate the pose himself so you know exactly what to do. I never know what to do with my hands but Jesse was great at explaining where he wanted them or how to move them. He created gorgeous photos that I will cherish forever.
Tell us - what was the moment you saw your photos for the first time like?
They absolutely took my breath away. Jess was there as my own personal cheerleader reminding me how fantastic I looked. She made me feel so welcome and I felt like I was chatting to a best friend from the moment I walked in.
I started off thinking Martin (my husband) will like that one, but then that changed to ‘I like that one, and that one and that one.....can I have them all please!”
How have other people in your life benefited from this experience? What have they said about your photos!
I’m sure my husband has noticed a difference in me. I also have two young boys and I don’t want them to grow up thinking that the people that mainstream media thrust at us are ‘normal’ or the only form of beauty. I want them to know all women are beautiful......I can’t teach them that if I don’t believe it myself so this was a great first step for me.
Confidence is a big thing - in fact it is everything. How has this boudoir experience elevated who you are in different areas of your life - for example has this confidence affected your relationship or your career?
My complete lack of self esteem and constant putting myself down was driving a wedge between my husband and I. It felt like the person he was married to, the one he saw, was a completely different person. This experience has helped me see myself through his eyes. I believe I am worthy of his love.
If this experience helped you find part of you that you believe you had lost or maybe felt you had to hide away, which part of you do you believe you have been able to rediscover because of your boudoir experience with us?
This whole thing has helped me find ‘sexy Mel’. I’ve never met her before, never believe she existed....but she does, she’s in there!
What stood out for you about this experience?
The love and friendship that emanate from the whole team. They make you feel like you are the only client on their books. They hold your hand (metaphorically speaking) every step of the way and push you to achieve something that we all deserve....belief in ourselves!
How do you feel every time you look at your artwork now?
I haven’t got it back yet as I only had my shoot on Friday but I cannot wait to see the photos again and show them to my husband.
So many people have said that this is the best money that they have ever spent on themselves - we know we are not cheap, but some times we just need to know that we are worth spoiling outs selves - do you believe that what you received was valuable and thinking about it now and all that this will give you for so many years - do you believe that this was money well spent?
HELL YES! I would do it again in a heartbeat.
Do you want to add anything else?!
Thank you from the bottom of my heart! Plus, I feel like I want to do the whole thing again because it was such an awesome experience and because I feel like the whole team were so much like friends I had known for years.....I want to see them all again!
And to the Divas team, you and the ethos of the company you work for is so amazing and it is a true gift you are giving us.....no amount of 'talking therapy' comes close to. There is something very special about Divine Diva's and a big big part of that is you all! It was an absolute pleasure to meet you all.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, from the bottom of my heart! I really needed this. I've struggled with feeling invisible due to my illness / disability, but you made me feel seen, special and happy. Huge love to you all - keep doing what you are doing.
