“Very Few Days After The Shoot, My Health Took A Very Sharp Decline…Seeing My Photos Reminded Me That The Sensual, Fun Girl in The Photos Is Still ME - and That Girl Is Staying.”

What is your name and age? 

My name is Kate and I’m 41 (apparently, not quite sure how that happened!)

When did you come in for your Boudoir Shoot? 

1st June 2022

What made you decide to book? 

I’d been following Divine Divas for ages but had endless reasons why I wouldn’t do it. However, speaking to Jess she managed to remove all of my objections (plus the special offer definitely helped!). My 20th wedding anniversary was coming up so I wanted to do something that would surprise my husband - and also maybe surprise myself. I wanted to do something bold, daring, something that would make me feel a little alive. Plus, I wanted these photos to make my husband see me in a different light. I wanted to get out of my comfort zone and have an opportunity to explore sides of me that I wasn’t entirely sure existed.

Obviously, we have quite in depth phone calls with you before your experience! Do you feel that it was an important part of the photography experience? Do you feel it added to the experience? 

The discovery calls were slightly difficult (they reminded me a little of being in therapy) and I don’t particularly like talking about myself. However, being asked about what I liked and what I wanted actually got me thinking about important things. Plus, I suddenly found myself thinking about what to buy or wear for the shoot and giving myself permission to go for something I liked, not just choosing something because it was cheap. Giving myself permission to prioritise myself was challenging but it also felt good! Discovering that the world didn’t end because of it was also an added bonus!

Having a professional makeup artist work with you on the day, do you think this added to the experience, and what did it do for your confidence coming into the shoot ?? 

Watching Shannon work was amazing. I felt like I was changing before my own eyes, and yet somehow I still looked like me. I’d been slightly worried before that I wouldn’t recognise myself, that the final effect would only be down to filters, computer work and a lot of make-up… That was not the case. Shannon somehow made me feel that it was still me, just a different version of me. At the same time, she managed to make me feel as though I didn’t need make-up, that it was just a fun thing to play with to express myself. She made me feel that it wasn’t about “needing” it, but using it to create a feeling. It did make me wish I knew how to do makeup properly! 

A lot of women feel self-conscious about having a boudoir experience - knowing what you know now, what would you say to any woman feeling a little self-conscious about herself and treating herself to this experience? 

All the team at DD are used to women who feel uncomfortable (for a million and one different reasons) and they know exactly how to make you feel at ease. It’s almost like you’ve suddenly got a group of best friends who see you without judging you!

I would say to anyone, everyone thinks that they will be the one woman who will not look amazing in their DD photos; that they will be the one woman who DD aren’t able to make feel good! We all thought that we weren’t photogenic or beautiful enough, too much of this or not enough of that, that we were the exception… However, every single one of us Divas has walked out feeling amazing. So when you’re scrolling through the Divas page and you’re looking at a photo of a strong, beautiful woman who looks like she can take on the world and you tell yourself that can never be you… You’re wrong. That will be you next if you go for it.

What was it like actually being photographed? How did you find the photoshoot itself? 

When I first went into the shoot, I admitted to Jesse that I’ve only ever been with my husband and that therefore it was a very difficult thing for me to have another man see me like that. I suffer from IBS and the stress had made my stomach swell up hugely, plus one of the outfits that I’d wanted to wear I was unable to wear on the day. It felt like everything that could make me feel bad about myself was coming together! 

Jesse managed to make me feel at ease and comfortable very easily. He acknowledge my concerns, then just carried on despite them in the most professional and gentle manner possible.

Before I knew it, I was relaxed and having fun. There was one point where, after an outfit change, I felt massively unsure and had a complete meltdown (sorry Jesse). We talked it through, Jesse supported me and understood what I wanted and then we carried on as if nothing had happened.

I even found myself asking for shots that I wanted. I often struggle to make my voice heard so it was a huge step for me. Plus, the photos that came out of that were fantastic!

I hadn’t ever imagined that “just a photoshoot” could unlock so much for me.

Tell us - what was the moment you saw your photos for the first time like? 

The first time that I saw one of my photos was one that Jesse showed me on his camera. I’d been convinced that the only way the photos would look good were with a LOT of editing. Seeing it raw was an amazing moment: I realised how skilful Jesse was and that he was going to produce amazing photos - of me of all people!

How have other people in your life benefited from this experience? What have they said about your photos! 

One of my colleagues has signed up for a boudoir experience after hearing me rave about it!

Confidence is a big thing - in fact it is everything. How has this boudoir experience elevated who you are in different areas of your life - for example has this confidence affected your relationship or your career? 

Following this experience, I’ve started thinking more about what I want and expressing it more openly. When I need it, I remember that the confidence I felt from the shoot wasn’t an illusion. It was, and is, a very real feeling that was created out a careful process. And that process has given me tools that I can use when I want to bring back that feeling again. Don’t like how I look one morning? I remember how much focusing a little on my hair and makeup can change how I feel. Feeling fat, frumpy or down? Body pop that power pose! Wanting to express something? I did it before, I can do it again! All of that is because of the amazing Divine Divas experience.

If this experience helped you find part of you that you believe you had lost or maybe felt you had to hide away, which part of you do you believe you have been able to rediscover because of your boudoir experience with us? 

I came into the session wanting to capture a part of myself that I had glimpsed but not really fully believed existed: someone who was strong, sexy, fun and sensual. I wasn’t sure that was possible or even really me (helloooo imposter syndrome). The team managed to capture photos of me looking exactly like that.

Very few days after the shoot, my health took a very sharp decline. Suddenly, I couldn’t work, couldn’t go out on my own, couldn’t earn money, couldn’t help others in any way. Everything that I thought defined me vanished in a matter of minutes, with no way of knowing if it would ever come back.

Seeing my photos reminded me that the girl in the photos was still me. None of the things that I lost defined me, that girl is there on my wall and she can’t just disappear. I still don’t know what my future holds but that girl’s staying!

What stood out for you about this experience? 

The people. Divine Divas is so much more than a photoshoot, it’s a whole community of Divas who are there to make a difference. The team make you feel as though they are not a business, but a family that you’ve just become part of. And what a fabulous family!

How do you feel every time you look at your artwork now? So many people have said that this is the best money that they have ever spent on themselves - we know we are not cheap, but some times we just need to know that we are worth spoiling ourselves - do you believe that what you received was valuable and thinking about it now and all that this will give you for so many years - do you believe that this was money well spent?

I'm a great believer that things often happen at the right time for a reason.

When I went for my shoot, I wanted some art that would capture different sides of me and to be able to really recognise myself (and for hubby too as officially it was a present for our 20th wedding anniversary haha!).

My description was somewhat vague and pretty impossible (think it involved "strong" "fun" and some other bits) but as you know, I left the shoot feeling amazing.

Within two days, my Dad was calling 999 as I could barely move and couldn't talk and we thought it might be an impact of Covid. In fact, it was non-epileptic seizures returning as a result of my Functional Neurological Disease, something I'd hoped had gone away a while ago.

I was told I could no longer drive and after almost daily seizures, was told I wasn't fit for work. Yesterday I was told that my health meant that I could no longer continue a Masters that I was loving. My life felt like it was drifting away so fast.

Yet when I look at my artwork, I see me. Vulnerable and just recovering from a meltdown (hats off to Jesse) yet strong, sensual and fun.

I might not know what the future holds but that ‘me’ I see in my photos will still be me, no matter my illnesses or disabilities.

So, yes, it is expensive. But I didn’t spend that money on photos, I spent it on all the things discussed above. If I hadn’t, that money would have been spent on something else. Probably just little things that in 10 years’ time I wouldn’t be able to tell you what it had gone on. With this, in 10 years’ time I will be able to tell you EXACTLY what the money went on.