Tips for Divas Who Are Navigating a Long Term Illness or Disability
The reason we are writing this blog is that we cannot express firmly enough that we encourage EVERYONE to come for a Boudoir experience. We have had so many gorgeous Divas come to the studio who are healing from operations or navigating a long term illness (visible or invisible.) Embracing changes in our body, or choosing to celebrate our bodies for its differences, is so powerful - but we also know it can be nerve wracking, and, sometimes, it also means you have a few more practical things to consider. So, we thought we would write this blog, alongside the help of some our beautiful Divas who are speaking from a place of similar personal experience, to give you some tips and reassurance on coming to the studio!
1.The big one - tell us ♥️
In the words of Cody, “you’ll feel so relaxed and welcome, and even more so, if you just explain that you might need a little longer to do things. Jesse, my photographer, was great with me when I explained that I just needed a quick break every now and then.”
We cannot echo this enough, as with so many things, communication is key. If you are comfortable telling us, it means that we can tailor the day around you - including any breaks you need. As another Diva, Kate, said: “The DD studio is the ultimate zero-judgement zone. Let them know in advance what your differences and your needs are and they will bend over backwards to accommodate you. Need a break during the shoot or totally run out of energy? They'll adapt. They just need to know, so be honest with them.” We’re more than happy to break the day up if an all day experience sounds overwhelming, and we can create new poses that look just as awesome but are comfortable too!
Gorgeous Kate!
2.We’re not here to tell you how to embrace your body. You can choose to highlight your scars, or we can focus on other things you’d rather we draw attention to!
You have the total right to choose what you are comfortable with when it comes to scarring, prosthetics, diabetic sensors or aids. We won’t make assumptions. It’s up to you whether you choose to include them in your photo, or you’d rather we retouch any scarring. Though it can be hugely powerful to capture your body as it is and this could be a wonderful chance to maybe see parts of yourself in a new light, we also respect your right to choose and understand it is your story and your body. Our only priority is that you are happy and empowered with what you see, so you call the shots!
As one Diva said, ‘the DD experience is all about your whole self. Decide in advance how much of your difference you would like included. Want to include your difference in the shoot to show a part of yourself? Let them know. Prefer to focus on other parts of your personality and your essence? Do that! Your illness, disability or difference is only a tiny part of who you are.’
3. We take mental health very importantly
We know that the discovery calls we do can be personal and intense, and that’s so that we can get to know you in a meaningful way that gives you what you want and need from the experience. The benefit of the calls are also that, hopefully, you should feel comfortable enough to share with us how you’re really feeling. Jo comes from a background of life coach training and I (Jess) have done multiple mental health first aid courses, and I’m training as a counsellor, so we’re very comfortable both talking about mental health. We get that it’s a big deal and if you do struggle with anxiety or panic attacks, that’s totally okay. We’re here to give you the space and reassurance you need to make sure the day is as magical as you deserve! I’ve suffered with anxiety myself and I know what a b*tch it can be - so, long story short, just don’t worry about showing us the FULL, real you - you can be vulnerable AND a badass.
As Lorna said, we’ll always strive to make you feel comfortable - “I was open to the team and not only did they give me advice for the day (which went better then I ever expected) but the advice and support personally was so much more. These beauts rock.”
4. Practical tips - step-free access etc!
Many Divas have come to us who struggle with mobility. That’s totally fine! We have one small step that leads into our corridor and there is a slight ridge when coming through the front door, but the rest is all flat.
Pose wise, please feel free to voice what is comfortable to you and what is not - and that goes for both physical comfort and what you’re mentally comfortable with too.
The photoshoot itself can be tiring so that is worth baring in mind. As one Diva, Kate, says: “adrenaline may well keep you running through the shoot itself but you'll possibly crash afterwards. I'm paying for yesterday's shoot today. Totally worth it, but just be aware in order to plan in advance. The team will also help you with this: Jess cut short my design session because she saw I was too tired and helped me organise a different way to continue!”
5. Don’t panic about what you FEAR you will see…
It really does make sense that so many Divas facing changes to their body choose to come to us. Illnesses, operations and disabilities can change your relationship with your body massively. So many Divas have said to us that they found it such a challenge to recognise themselves in the mirror, or to even look in the mirror. Obviously our end goal, and our ethos, is that every part of your body, and every part of what makes you who you are is worth celebrating and you should not have to hide any part of yourself - but we also don’t want to dismiss the incredibly valid point that it can be a real struggle to arrive at a place of self-love. When booking a shoot, it can be so easy to fear that, instead of boosting your confidence, your worst fears will be confirmed and all that you will see are your insecurities.
But listen to what Diva, Anne, said: “I suffer from pcos and have since my teen years. The consequences are what you can imagine - excess body hair where I don't want it (namely my chin, sure of face and neck), excess body weight, and cystic acne in some intimate places. I was worried my photos would show a spotty, blubbery, hairy mess of a woman. But, the team are clearly experts at what they do. My photographs were art and were a celebration of my body. They showed me that I'm beautiful and vibrant despite any insecurities I obsess needlessly over. My advice would be, don't let it stop you. The team are experts at bringing out the beauty that you sometimes have difficulty seeing in yourself. Trust in them and have faith that you'll look amazing in the photos they create for you.”
Moral of the story? Don’t let your imagination run away with yourself! You’re in safe hands, promise.
5. Do it and ENJOY yourself.
We couldn’t say it better than this Diva…"You deserve to feel beautiful, sexy and seen. It doesn't matter what your body or your mind does to you, this is about YOU and you deserve this. A DD boudoir shoot is all about joy, liberation, empowerment, self discovery and self celebration. Makes a bit of a change from dry medical appointments doesn't it? Your condition has probably already taken things away from you. Don't let it take the opportunity for you to discover and celebrate your authentic self!”
We are here for you every step of the way. We may not know everything but we are here to learn around you and to do everything in our power to tailor the experience around your emotional and physical needs, so don’t let anything stop you.
If you’re reading this and you’d love to go for it, but a few queries weren’t answered please please please just get in touch! You can email jo@capturethespirit.co.uk or just book a call using the button below!
